Posted in Fiction and Poetry, The Horny Christian - Confessions, The Logical Theist



Sunday Erections

Do you know everything about a man has a conscience except his erections? Okay am just kidding but how many of us have had some of those weird moments when the “fly” suddenly becomes taut and we try every secret manoeuvre to adjust the silicon snake from inside the pocket, beside the zipper, inside the belt area… We twist and turn because “this cannot be happening here!”

I know a lot of us shy away from the most troubling experiences we have, like when a beautiful lady shoots out her breast in church and the seams of her Skirt liner are almost bursting. We know that something is wrong, it was not our plan to have an erection while worship is on.

Today I had a similar experience, this lady wore a flower Patterned top and a red Skirt, those skirts that fit so well and are usually the stretchable materials. I really don’t know the name for fabric, but I know you get the idea. I was honestly trying to find a moment of Silence with God, because I was aware that my heart was jumping all around the place.

Anyone looking at me would have seen a well behaved young man, while inside my pants and my head was a raving lunatic. For some terrible reason, I could not just focus in church. There were just too many attractive ladies, I don’t know if this is the burden of being single and in your mid-twenties. I was just looking out for all the pretty ladies who were also looking back at me. At a point I wondered if they were also single and looking to mingle, or they were just wondering which kind of person I was, not dancing and shouting like everyone else.

Back to the red skirt, I suddenly noticed her back view. She stood with her legs firmly set in place and spread apart, she seemed like someone trying not to move and this made her butt shape to take a solid outline.

At that instance, my mind was crowded with terrible thoughts and I felt so sad about coming to church. I don’t blame the lady, no she has a right to dress anyway she feels God would approve of because I believe there were other guys in that same auditorium who did not even feel a thing.

Do you know how many times of a day I have these kind of experiences? Even while I was still a virgin, I experienced lust at very magnified levels. I have come to query the idea that if one died in such moments, he/she would go to hell. The burden of worrying about all such fleeting moments, times when something just appealed to us, its just too heavy.

If God had no better way to evaluate man, then we are probably all doomed

. I know we talk about Sanctification, some say when you are sanctified you just cannot have such situations. I think sexual suppression is equated to sanctification, a man would avoid erotic feelings towards his wife because he wants to make heaven. The only time he expresses any form of emotions is when reproduction is required or whenever the erections become unbearable.

I don’t know how people handle the guilt and embarrassment of these kind of experience.

This is a Confession.


My name is Jonathan Oladeji, a growing christian and a Nigerian. I believe in the ability of creative writers to influence the culture of the mind. Inspiration for people who are hungry for knowledge, increased contribution to the acceptance of the creativity and power within us.

6 thoughts on “Erections

  1. Hmmm..
    This is a lot of deep stuff. Most would not even talk about it. When we were told to set our minds on things above, no one said things would halt down below, literally and otherwise. We were just being admonished not to “wallow”/get stuck on them ‘cos, there’s so much more. Keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Truly I have found that its in times of greatest “assumed” self control, that things start to spiral out of control. It is so important to serve as a cushion to other people’s insecurities when we realize we are not alone in these issues.


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